I gazed in disbelief as my friend walked away from me and though seeing it, I could not believe it! The friendship was over. The closest person I had in life; the one who brought so much joy, relief, hope and positive vibes. It was over now and I had to open a new chapter in life. This one seemed dull and cloudy with uncertainties hung in the air and clouded my mind. Out of the many questions I had, the biggest was; how will I move on?
My friend was near to perfect and we had strong attachments bearing in mind that we spend much time together, ate together, bonded so much, and even knew the inner secrets of each other. We had known each other to the point that If I was asked about my friend, I would have said the same words my friend would have said about herself. But then things happened and we had to break the friendship, forget and assume the good moments and say goodbye to each other. Surely, I felt like the whole world was against me as I tried to pretend that it was not an ordeal to me. when night came, I had a flash of reflections of my friend and I knew somehow, I had lost a part of my life which I never knew how to regain again.
As I struggled in my pain, I came to understand that I could not assume that it never happened, I had to be real with myself and accept that it happened to me and that I was hurting though pretending. I could not stand even the casual talks with ladies whom I felt were evil and betrayers. I started developing hatred towards them to a point that I decided not to ever marry. I was so much stressed, almost getting into depression and I realized that it was affecting me and unless I did something, I could end up wretched. That’s where I started the process of detaching myself from the cords and bonds that attached me to the friendship.
Though in pain, I trusted God for his grace to detach, and through prayer, I slowly started overcoming what was a struggle to me. The places we used to go never tormented me or reminded me of her and if they did, I was not doing it from the point of pain and anger. The things we used to do never reminded me of a loss but a season that passed and the lessons which I learned from there. Her cologne and her dressing style if I saw someone dressed similarly did not provoke the inner hurt. That’s when I realized that God had enabled me to deal with it and even though I was not perfect, I was recovering.
As I write these to you, I would only request you to reflect on Apostle Paul’s letter to Corinthians in 1st corinthians10:23“Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is edifying.” What is your attachment and what are the consequences of the attachment? be it friends, relatives, job, business, hobbies, addiction and so many more attachments that we have in life. You may be permitted by age, the laws of the land, or the norms of our cultures to do and have attachments to some things but the problem is, once the parting time comes, will you be in a position to detach yourself from the attachments you have created to yourself without regrets, anger or personal hatred and blaming yourself for the attachment? Will you stand out and say, Lord, help me in this one, or will it be a struggle of shame? Remember once Adam realized that he had disobeyed God and he was naked; he sought a cover for the detachment from God by sewing fig leaves to cover the shame. Don’t go that path, there is a ‘detacher’ who can detach you from all the unhealthy attachments you have in your life even if they look good at the moment.
Finally, we may not even know if whatever or whoever am attached to is the right person physically, but remember the Bible says “and thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. He will teach us of all the things that we are supposed to do, even the hidden and the unknown to us. So, by cultivating a strong attachment with Him, we will be able to detach ourselves from the unnecessary attachments we have in our lives and live a fulfilling life once again. It’s not easy but it’s possible for the willing and the surrendered heart.
article written and compiled by Simon Kiarie